Jan 7 2009

10 Ways To Be A $uper cheap A$$ in a Recession.

save_money

  1. Use less toilet paper.  That shit is expensive (excuse the pun)  Is your ass really that big?
  2. Shower faster. Make it like a game and see how fast you can do it.
  3. Make soup. It is the cheapest food you can make.  All those poor farmers can’t be wrong.  Add lots of cheap salt too.
  4. Complain about  your food.  If your food taste like crap at a restaurant, start speaking up more and bitching.  Discounts and free stuff will be in your future dine out.
  5. Inflate your car tires.  This one is the easiest way to save gas but most people are too lazy to check them.
  6. Don’t store shit in your car.  Check your trunk, have hockey gear, tools and crap.  That extra weight cost you gas money.
  7. Drive slower.  Ease up on the gas and float around the city.  You’ll burn less gas and be less stressed.
  8. Stop watching Movies for one year.  This one will hurt, but if you can give up the theatre and DVD rentals for a while, they eventually end up on TV.  Just ask your parents.  
  9. Steal someone else’s wi-fi.  Why pay for it, when your neighbours already are?
  10. Drink Domestic water.  In a restaurant when they try to up-sell you and ask, “would you like sparkling or bottled water?” just say, “I’ll have your domestic please…”

What are you ways to be a cheap A$$?  Link to your lists in the comment section.

More great list:

T-Bucket’s Wacky Tips to Survive Being Broke in a Recession

12 Good Gadgets for Hard Times

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16 Comments on this post

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  1. Darcie said:

    Hahahaha! I love the toilet paper idea. I’d say to steal TP from work and save a few extra bucks, but that stuff is like sand paper.

    January 7th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
  2. Chad said:

    Or another one…always use public washrooms so you don’t need any toilet paper at home.

    January 8th, 2009 at 10:23 am
  3. Mack said:

    LOL! Love the wi-fi idea. Doing it now as I type this comment. For cheap a$$ people check out http://www.ueatcheap.com.

    January 9th, 2009 at 1:59 am
  4. Edward Brown said:

    haha…VERY FUNNY!!

    I’m going to share this with everyone I know! lol…thanks for posting.

    Have a great day!

    Sincerely,

    Edward Brown
    http://www.edwardsmoneyblog.tk

    January 9th, 2009 at 9:35 am
  5. Zipporah Sandler said:

    Very clever and practical. Not only that - but you IMMEDIATELY caught my eye with the post - LOL - thanks.

    Zippy at Champagne Living

    January 11th, 2009 at 9:26 am
  6. Ana said:

    Very clever way of saving. It may seem funny but it’s effective I guess.

    January 12th, 2009 at 7:48 am
  7. Chad said:

    Hey all thanks for stopping by, feel free to link to your cheap suggestions.

    @Ana, it must be nice living the life of rich and famous!

    January 12th, 2009 at 8:26 am
  8. Ryan said:

    FKN hilarious man. I love it. Expect a few references on my blogs.

    January 15th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
  9. Jack said:

    >>>># Complain about your food. If your food taste like crap at a restaurant, start speaking up more and bitching. Discounts and free stuff will be in your future dine out.

    This seems to be the best… It works very fine most of the time..

    January 16th, 2009 at 3:57 am
  10. Lyndsay Cabildo said:

    Hahaha! That’s cool, I’ve read almost all the posts on your homepage, and its all funny, maybe you should change your domain to ComedySpace.com or FunnySpace.com…lol…I’m kidding!

    January 23rd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
  11. save gas said:

    Slowing down really does save gas here what I get in my prius

    65 MPH 48 MPG
    60 MPH =52 MPG
    55 55
    50 60
    45 70

    January 25th, 2009 at 3:01 am
  12. Tari Akpodiete said:

    could save a ton just by ditching the car period: monthly payment, insurance, gas, maintenance, parking fees, tickets, etc. if you live in a big city, cars aren’t really needed, take public transportation.

    and if you do need a car for something, you can rent one from places like zipcar which charge by the hour. my cheap ass bro noticed that zipcar charges 6 bucks an hour after midnight in Toronto. apparently that’s 1/2 price. so guess when he does his grocery shopping, and when he comes to my place to borrow the dvds he’s too cheap to rent or buy?

    and for those who don’t have a credit card and think that prevents them from renting a car, go to money mart (Canada and USA, not sure about rest of the world) and get one of those prepaid mastercards and load it up with a few hundred bucks and you too can rent a zipcar for cheap.

    February 24th, 2009 at 7:39 am
  13. Chad said:

    Hey Tari, thanks for stopping by. Do those pre-paid credit cards work for stuff like renting cars???

    February 24th, 2009 at 9:22 am
  14. Setai said:

    Excesive bitching about food can be harmful to your future orders. If you annoy waiters too much the might decide to do something disguisting with your food. My most important rule in life is “never screw with people who are handling your food”.

    March 6th, 2009 at 9:16 am
  15. PennyPhone said:

    My suggestions to be thrifty:
    1. Don’t buy “Cheap” things!
    2. Forget to buy Needless things!
    3. Always repair your quality things!

    April 14th, 2009 at 11:48 am
  16. Jesse said:

    Hate to comment on an old post, but I just caught this one. Absolutely hilarious but true also.. Great pointers :-)

    April 16th, 2009 at 4:27 pm

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