Why Google is the World’s Biggest PIMP

Posted on 15. Aug, 2007 in Online Advertising

–          They don’t actually create any content themselves.  They sponge off the hard work of bloggers worldwide, using their content to display Google ads and they pocket most of the money, just like real pimps do to their hookers.  Yes, if you have a blog and you are running Google AdSense, you are Google’s Hooker, and Google is your pimp.-          They don’t tell you how much they make off your content.  Yes, that is correct.  It is a business partnership, but they take the money from the end client first, they don’t tell you how much they get, keep as much as they want, and give you however much of the leftovers they feel like.  Just like a Pimp does to his hookers, he gets paid first without telling them what he charges.

–          They bully you into thinking that you cannot stand up to them and say anything bad about them or your SEO results might drop, or you Google PR might suddenly dip.   Just like real world pimps do to their hookers, they bully them into feeling like they have no choice but to stay with the pimp.

–          Google threatens you if you decide to make some of your own money off selling your own text links on your own site.  Google does not want you to make any side cash that cutts them out of the deal.  If Google finds out that you are cheating on them they will probably also cutt your PR ranking down to size.  Almost like real world pimps except they probably beat their hookers if they earn money somewhere else.

–          They will take anything they can get.  Yes, just like hookers who really don’t have any standard as to who they do business with, Google again has absolutely no standards.  They will let any site run Google AdSense, it doesn’t matter if the content is stolen, ripped off, questionable, nonsensical, full of profanity, racist, complete garbage, duplicated, never updated and just plan crap, Google will bang it. 

–          Just like real world pimps who already have low ethical standards and don’t usually have any problems promoting and/or making money off other illegal activity, Google too, does not care if companies who are advertising on their network are committing federal offenses.  Selling counterfeits of registered trademarked material is illegal and is actually a federal offense in many countries including the good old US of A, where Google is headquartered.  Does Google care if thousands of companies are selling counterfeits through its advertising service?  Hell no.  Do a quick search on Google for “Louis Vuitton” Probably one of the most ripped off brands in the world.  This search you will not only finds tonnes of companies selling illegal products, try to actually find a legit one.  (Vuitton sued Google successfully in Feb 2005 for this very reason and they still turn a blind eye.)  Does Google refuse this money?  Why would they?

Because…They are the biggest pimp on earth!